


Docked

by KaytiKazoo



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Grant Ward Feels, Grant Ward Isn't Hydra, M/M, Minor Jemma Simmons/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Relationship Reveal, Secret Relationship, Singing, minor power dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21641362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytiKazoo/pseuds/KaytiKazoo
Summary: The team are waiting for an information drop happening in Edinburgh, and have some downtime. It doesn't turn out how Leo Fitz plans.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Grant Ward
Comments: 4
Kudos: 47





	Docked

The month had been long, almost endless, but despite everything, they were all alive. The mission wasn’t done, that was for sure, but placed in stasis while they waited. They found themselves with a week of downtime, waiting for the intel they’d received to come relevant. They’d docked in, of all places, Edinburgh, and had been given the okay to explore the town. 

“Don’t destroy anything. Don’t draw attention,” Coulson had said as their only guidance, and let them loose. 

Leopold Fitz dressed for the Scottish weather, a thick jacket and a hat to cover his ears, before heading towards the back of the plane. He met Simmons there, smiling, happy to be on the ground again without rushing off towards one disaster or another. She didn’t have to say it aloud, he could see it in her eyes, the tension in her shoulders.

“Going to visit your mum first, then?” Simmons asked, wrapping a scarf around her neck to protect from the cold. Fitz reached out more out of habit than anything else and fixed her scarf.

“Yeah, she worries. Figured I’d see her first, if you want to come with. I’m sure she’d appreciate seeing you too,” Fitz said. 

“Wait, you’re going to see your mom? Can I come?” Daisy asked, appearing out of nowhere at Simmons’ side. She hadn’t been within earshot a second ago, Fitz could have sworn.

“My mum probably wouldn’t let me hear the end of it if I said no,” Fitz said, “so, yes, if you must.”

Daisy grinned and fist pumped.

“Let’s go meet Momma Fitz then!”

* * *

It was a mistake to bring Daisy Johnson to his childhood home, which he had expected, but it was nice to see his mother again. His childhood home wasn’t anything flashy or impressive, a two-bedroom, two-story house on the edge of Edinburgh, decorated with memories and achievements. His mother hugged him for a long time on the front step, told him he was too skinny and needed to shave. He had missed her so much.

“Mum, I brought some friends. You remember Jemma,” he said and let them embrace like old friends. “And this is our really good friend and teammate, Daisy. Daisy, this is my mum,  Elsbeth .”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. I always said that Fitz must have an incredible mom to turn out to be such a good man.”

“He is a good boy,”  Elsbeth said, eyes twinkling as she smiled at him. “Come in, come in, out of the cold. I’ll put the kettle on.”

He wasn’t horrified yet at either his friends nor his mum, keyword being yet, so he let them follow  Elsbeth into the kitchen. It had been a decade since he’d spent any significant time at home with his mum, having left for the Academy so young. 

“I’m having a hard time picturing Fitz as a kid. He had a baby face when we met,” Daisy said, “but I just can’t picture Baby Leo for some reason.”

“I did not have a baby face,” he protested. 

Daisy rolled her eyes and Jemma reached out to pat his hand comfortingly.

“Yes, you did, dear.”

“The beard helps,” Daisy commented. “And the haircut. You look more like an adult now.”

“Thanks, I guess.”

“What is it that you do, Daisy? I’ve known Jemma forever but Leo hasn’t really told me much about his new project or his teammates.”

“Oh,” Daisy said. “I’m very good with computers. I’m a hacker, basically, if you want to boil it down succinctly.”

“That’s brilliant. I’ve always wanted to meet a hacker,”  Elsbeth said giddily, sinking into the chair opposite Daisy.

“Mum,” he started to say, but Daisy waved off his concern. 

His mother and Daisy got on like a wildfire, much to his terror. Jemma sat back, drinking her tea, amused at  Elsbeth’s new fascination. Fitz wondered how much of that delight was from seeing Fitz’s nightmare coming true or if there was something a bit more amorous in those eyes, watching Daisy talk with her hands. 

“Oh, I had a thought,”  Elsbeth said as she set her empty mug on the table between them beside Jemma’s, and she was gone.

“She’s just like you.”

“I think you’ll find that it’s the other way around,” Fitz replied, “I’m just like her.”

When she returned, he let out a low, long groan. The dreaded baby picture book, chronicling his life from birth until he’d joined SHIELD, had been the bane of his existence for years. The three of them cooed over the timeline of Leopold Fitz growing up, a  smushy -faced baby, a frowning toddler, a blonde boy with a smudge of dirt and grease at the end of his nose. There were few pictures of his father, and then none after he was ten, but there were plenty of  Elsbeth and him, grinning, a small family of two. She hadn’t changed much over the years, her haircut and glasses, her style, but she had the same smile in every photo, tired but thrilled to be alive, thrilled to watch Leo grow, thrilled that she was there, even if - 

“Mum,” he said, putting his hand on the page before she could turn it. The next page, he knew, contained a series of photos from the talent show he’d performed in. He wasn’t embarrassed, exactly; all he’d done was sing, but he didn’t need Daisy knowing that. He didn’t know if a video existed of the performance, but if it did, Daisy would find it. He didn’t want to wake up to that playing on every screen on the Zephyr one day. “Maybe not.”

She rolled her eyes at him but closed the album much to the protests of Daisy and Jemma on either side of them.

“Alright, Leopold, as you wish, love.”

She put the album away, and collected their mugs, depositing them into the dishwasher that Fitz had installed and upgraded when he was still a teenager for ease of use. Her house was filled with Fitz’s improvements, everywhere from the television to the wiring in the house to the security system he’d insisted on when he’d moved to the Academy.

“I’m going to show them around the city, if you want to come with and help tour guide them?”

“Oh, no, love. You go and enjoy your time off work. Don’t you worry about your old mum, not for one second.”

“I always worry about you, you know that.”

“You’re a good boy, Leopold. I love you.”

“I love you,” he said, and kissed her forehead. “We’ll be in town for a week or so. I’ll text you about lunch this week. Just us.”

“Be safe out there,” she said as they left the house. It was always so hard to leave, not knowing when or if he’d see her again. That was the danger of his job. He wouldn’t always come home. Someday, he’d be brought back in a body bag.

“Your mom is so sweet,” Daisy said. “You look a lot like her.”

“Yeah, everyone says that,” Fitz said, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets nervously. “What do you guys want to see first?”

* * *

He left the girls at the edge of the field where they’d parked the Zephyr, claiming he had to meet an old friend and he’d be home later, he’d check in with them when he got back to let them know he’d made it. It was strange that the Zephyr was home these days but he felt it in his bones now that the ship and the team were his home.

“Where are you sneaking away to?” a voice came from the dark, startling Leo out of his focus on the street ahead of him. He pulled his hands out of his pockets, ready to defend himself as he looked around, and Grant Ward stepped into the streetlight as beautiful as ever. 

“What? Are you following me now? Don’t trust me off the ship alone?” Fitz asked but there was no heat to it. Instead, he let Ward pull him in by the belt loops of his pants until they were pressed flush against each other. Ward’s body heat was welcome against his in the chilly Scottish air.

“Do I get to meet your mom, too?” Ward teased, hands roaming freely over Fitz’s back and sides, categorizing him all over again, inventorying him. 

“You didn’t ask,” Fitz choked out, leaning into Ward’s touch. It’d been so long since they’d been alone, risking only fleeting touches over the past few weeks. The team had been going and going, mission after mission, and they were all feeling the strain of their job. Even Fitz and Simmons were feeling it, snapping at each other. 

Fitz and Ward had been using each other to destress over the past year and a half, and somewhere along the way had actually developed feelings for each other. It was hard to stay apart, not sneaking into each other’s bunks, not touching each other where other people could see, not kissing when they wanted to. Fitz ached from their distance every day, but here he was now, hard lines and gentle touches. 

“Can I meet your mom, Leo?” Grant asked, moving to kiss a line of soft, barely there kisses across Fitz’s neck. “Please.”

“Depends. Do you want to meet her as Grant or as Ward?” Fitz asked. They’d, early on, delineated Leo & Grant as something other than Fitz & Ward. Leo & Grant were soft together, fleeting touches, embraces in the dark, breathing in each other’s space. Fitz & Ward were Agents of SHIELD, snappy and pushy, antagonistic, growing to trust each other still. He only wanted to introduce him to  Elsbeth Fitz as Grant, his loving, beautiful boyfriend.

“Grant,” he said so softly, it was almost taken away on the wind. “I’d also like to tell the team about us, because kissing you in secret and only touching you in the dark is not working for me. I can wait until you’re ready, of course, but I want to be with you openly. I want to see you and kiss you when something goes wrong during the mission and know that you’re okay, and I want to hold your hand when you’re scared so that you know I’m with you and nothing can hurt you if I’m there.”

Fitz smiled.

“You’re so soft, do you know that? You’re secretly so soft for me. The big bad specialist is a teddy bear.”

“Only for you,” Ward said, kissing Fitz’s forehead. “You got under my skin somehow.”

“Started by getting into your pants,” Fitz replied. “And then, I was just helpless enough for you to want to protect me. I know you, Grant Ward, I know how you work.”

“Yeah, you do. I wouldn’t change it. I like you right where you are.”

“Good. Can’t get rid of me now, especially once you meet my mum. You’re stuck with me forever after that.”

“That’s what I’m going for,” Grant promised.

“Well, I know of a decent hotel not far from here. Let’s start forever tonight.”

* * *

Day two in Edinburgh was a nightmare that lasted too long, one that started with Daisy and May breaking into their hotel room while they were asleep. Fitz was dreaming of the lab, of Grant sitting next to him while he worked on the new version of the icers, of soft music playing overhead. He was singing to Grant, and his expression was open and full of love, nothing else around them, the room fuzzing out at the edges. Then, there was an impossibly loud bang as the hotel room door crashed against the wall, and Fitz was startled awake. He felt Grant lunge for the side table where he’d left his side arm with a grunt, displacing Fitz from his chest.

He barely had his eyes open, confused and grumbling when he felt the tension in Grant’s body relax and he growled, “ _ what  _ are you two doing here?”

“Fitz never came home when he said he would, and you weren’t there! We thought you’d been kidnapped or something,” Daisy said.

“You thought two agents of SHIELD had been kidnapped and brought to a nice hotel to – what? What was the thought process there? You must have tracked our card purchases and couldn’t put two and two together that we came here willing to get away from you?”

“Tell your boyfriend to be honest with us, then, and we wouldn’t have to track you down,” Daisy said.

“Fuck off,” Fitz muttered. “Also, get out.”

“We should at least -” Daisy started.

“Daisy, I will absolutely find a way to turn you inside out unless you get out of this room,” Fitz threatened sleepily, yawning as he reached for Grant’s gun. Grant kept it out of his reach with ease, chuckling fondly.

“We’ll discuss this when we get back to the Zephyr,” Grant said, voice sliding easily into his hard-ass specialist voice that sent shivers down Fitz’ spine to comply. “As for now, please leave our room.”

May ushered Daisy out and shut the door, never having said a word. 

“Well, I guess we don’t have to tell the team anymore. Daisy will definitely take care of that. You know that she’s an awful gossip when it comes to other people’s secrets,” Grant said, back to soft and loving boyfriend Grant, like flipping a switch. “Not ideal, but effective.”

Fitz, cranky and hungry now, buried his face in the pillows and groaned loudly.

“Hey,” Grant said, kissing his shoulder and speaking directly into Fitz’s skin. “It’s okay. Could have been worse.”

“I don’t like it,” Fitz grumbled.

“I know. I know you like control.”

“Our lives are already crazy enough as it is, with Hydra and  Inhumans and dodging death every other week. This felt like the one thing I had control over, or at least got a say in,” Fitz said gesturing between them. “We were going to tell them the way we wanted to, and that got taken from us like everything else.”

He felt hopeless, the lack of control a gaping wound in his chest.

“I know.”

“When can we catch a break? Why can’t anything go our way for  _ once _ ?”

“Leo,” Grant said, kissing his bare skin slowly. “We don’t have to tell them anything. This is still our decision, yours and mine. We get to decide what they know.”

“But they’ve seen us. They literally walked in on us, naked and in bed together. They know everything there is to know.”

“Doesn’t matter what they saw. If you’re not ready to tell them, then we won’t tell them. This is our control over the situation, how we react from here. I’ll follow your lead, I always will.”

Fitz could tell that there was a level of placation and handling in Grant’s words but he didn’t have the energy to fight it. He just nodded.

“Come down here and hold me, Grant. I need to finish my dream where you just sit and watch me work without interrupting me.”

“Never going to happen,” Grant replied. “Can’t keep my hands off you that long.”

Fitz hummed, settling contentedly into Grant’s arms.

“We need to work on your alertness, though,” Grant said softly. “What if that hadn’t been Daisy and May at the door?”

“I was asleep, I don’t know how more alert I could be.”

“Notice how I grabbed a gun and aimed it before you even opened your eyes.”

Fitz scoffed.

“You’re a specialist trained to be alert and on guard all the time. I’m a scientist, an engineer. Most parts of my job don’t require me to be alert for people breaking into my hotel room.”

“Except it does now,” Grant pointed out, and there was an edge of Ward in his voice, the agent who worked better alone, who was constantly frustrated at their incompetence. “We need to work on that, Fitz.”

“Yeah, okay,” he agreed. “Later, okay? Right now, I just want to lay here. I just want to be with you.”

“Okay.”

“I’m lucky to have you,” Leo said. “Thank you for protecting me when I’m useless.”

Grant kissed over his shoulder, his neck, his jaw.

“You’re not useless. We have different skill sets, I know that, I just want you to be able to defend yourself even when I’m not there. I don’t want – I don’t want to lose you, Leo.”

“I told you, once you meet my mum, you can’t get rid of me.”

They settled into each other, sighing and starting to drift back off in the early morning grey Scottish light. Fitz traced equations and designs into Grant’s chest, wanting to feel some kind of control of their lives. 

“Hey, can I tell you something that no one else knows? Not even Simmons?”

He didn’t know what possessed him to say it but it felt right. He had control here of what was said and what was shared.

“Please.”

“There was a time where I didn’t want to be an engineer, right after my dad left. I didn’t have anyone to try and impress, he was always so hard to impress, and it drove me deep into science. So, once he left, and it was just me and Mum, I didn’t want to be that boy, that boy who was striving for his dad’s attention all the time. Instead, just for a short time, I was in vocal lessons to become a singer. I have a pretty decent voice, but anyway, in my dreams, in the dream with us in the lab, I’m singing to you.” 

“Really? Does that dream happen a lot?”

“Yeah. It’s pretty regular. Like my subconscious is trying to tell me something.”

“You want to serenade me,” Grant teased.

“Maybe,” Fitz replied, “or I just want you to know all of me, all of my tricks and past, all of my secrets.”

“I know what you mean,” Grant said. He trailed his fingertips over Fitz’s bare skin. “I want you to know me, where I hide. I want you there with me.”

“I have an idea. A show of trust.”

“What’s that?”

“Show up tonight and you’ll find out.”

“Show up where?”

Fitz kissed Grant slowly and whispered into his mouth, “trust me.”

* * *

Later in the day, Leo Fitz dressed reluctantly after a long, steamy shower with Grant Ward, happily satiated. 

“I’ll go back to the Zephyr, and smooth things out with the team. Text me your plans,” Grant said, stroking over Fitz’ jaw slowly. “Or if you have any trouble. Especially if you have any trouble. Call me if someone fucks with you.”

“Only you get to fuck with me?” Fitz asked teasingly.

“Something like that,” Grant said, and there was an edge of something dark and wanting in his voice. 

“Tonight, baby. However you want me.”

Grant groaned and captured his mouth in a kiss. 

“Don’t say things like that when you’re leaving for the entire day.”

Fitz had a thing about control, always scrabbling for some hold on his reality, life always slipping between his fingers. Grant Ward gave him some footing in the world, gave him control over their sex life, over how and where they’d fuck, and over Grant himself. It was a rush, being with Grant, with him giving Fitz all of him. 

“Don’t touch yourself until tonight.”

Grant groaned but nodded obediently.

“Yeah, okay. I love you.”

Fitz grinned, and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend softly one last time, just a brush of their lips, a reminder to be good. 

“I love you too, Grant Ward.”

He left the hotel, and headed into the downtown heart of Edinburgh, letting his feet lead him without thinking. He didn’t need to think in Edinburgh, he knew that city by heart. There were pockets in the world that felt so unreal and yet so much like home at the same time. That was Edinburgh. It was old and growing still, but it was still the city he’d grown up in, familiar.

There was a bar he’d gone to every time he was home, the Nowhere Lounge, having known the manager from growing up with him. Fitz had sung there a few times just before going into the Academy, just to keep his voice warm. He ducked into the building and headed to the bar to get a beer while he waited.

“Jeremy,” Fitz said, grabbing Jeremy Baird, the manager of the Nowhere Lounge, on his way out from the office in the back. “Hey!”

“Well, Leopold Fitz, I’ll be fucked! What a great coincidence!”

“What’s that?”

“I had a singer drop out for the night’s line-up. I assume you’re not just here for a good time in the back,” Jeremy said with a twinkle in his eye. “I assume you’re here for a song.”

“Sorry, Jer, I am actually taken.”

“You are? Well, that’s a fucking shame. Who are they?”

“You’ll meet him tonight,” Fitz promised. “I would take that song, though. If you don’t mind. I haven’t practiced a lot but I won’t disappoint you.”

“Oh, Fitz, you never do. I am always satisfied with you.”

“Okay, ground rules, no flirting with me, especially in front of the boyfriend. He’s not – he's protective.”

“He’s a good guy, though?”

“Yes, he’s one of the best.”

“Alright, I'll behave myself.”

“Good. Usual time slot?”

“Yeah, I’ll make some adjustments and let the others know. You’re my number one, can’t have that voice being shown up. Really wish you’d quit science and come work for me. The Lounge would be rolling in cash with you up on that stage every night.”

Fitz shrugged.

“Sorry, my heart is in the sciences.”

“And yet, here you are again.”

“A man can have many passions, you know that.”

Jeremy grinned, tapping his fingers on the bar as he nodded his agreement.

“I am well acquainted with that train of thought, yes.”

“Singing is one of mine, outside of the sciences, outside of my job. I keep coming back to it, even if it doesn’t make money. That’s not what I’m here for.”

“You’re here to show off to the boyfriend,” Jeremy teased.

“Among other things.”

“Well, let me know how that goes.”

“He meets my mum this week,” Fitz said, “so, that’s the true test.”

“ Elsbeth is tough when it comes to you, so I’ll be interested to see if this man makes it out with his life.”

Fitz laughed at that, because it was a funny image. His mother was small, even shorter than he was, with thin fingers and wrists that he could wrap his hand all the way around, and Grant Ward was tall, and broad, and strong. He had biceps bigger than  Elsbeth’s thigh, Fitz was sure. And yet, he knew that when  Elsbeth and Grant went toe to toe, it would be his mother who would win, simply because Grant loved him, and  Elsbeth loved him, and they would never hurt each other because of that. 

“We’ll see.”

Jeremy knocked on the bar to alert Terry, the bartender.

“This one drinks free tonight,” he said, nodding towards Fitz. “You get him what he wants, okay?”

“Yes, sir,” Terry agreed, nodding at Fitz as well.

“Okay. Come back in three hours, okay? We’ll get you set up before and you can meet everyone else.”

“Yes, sir,” Fitz echoed and Jeremy grinned.

“See you then, Leo,” he said, and he was gone into the office again. Fitz finished off his beer and headed out, having to hit a few stops before returning. 

To: Ward

The Nowhere Lounge

8 pm

Come alone

* * *

When eight o’clock came, Fitz stood at the bar, watching the first act step up onto the stage, a young girl with her hair in pigtails, their tips dipped in pink. She grinned nervously, taking her place.

“Hi everyone, I’m Melissa, I’m new to Edinburgh, but I’m already so in love with this city. So, I’m going to sing you a love song, if you’ll have me.”

Fitz watched the door, and watched the stage, and nursed his drink. Ward was late, in a way that Ward was never late. He checked his phone but he hadn’t messaged, so he put his phone away, and took another sip. Jeremy appeared at his elbow.

“Is he here?”

“Not yet,” Fitz said, trying to keep his voice light, “but he just got stuck in traffic. He’ll be here.”

He’d better be, he didn’t say. 

Melissa was timid but talented, and when she stepped off stage, at least three men bought her glasses of wine that she didn’t touch. The next act was another young girl, this one confident to a point that Fitz flinched. When she opened her mouth, she spoke with an American southern drawl, which startled Fitz more than anything. Shouldn’t she be in Nashville trying to make it there, not Edinburgh?

Fitz tapped the bar as she started to sing, her voice not fit for country music, he found, and Terry brought him another drink.

He checked his phone, still no sign that Ward was coming. 

To: Ward

Did you forget about me

From: Ward

Little bit of trouble

On my way

I would never forget about you

To: Ward

Work trouble or?

From: Ward

Coworker trouble

To: Ward

You get away okay?

Ward appeared through the door at that moment, looking up from his screen to scan the room. Fitz waved him over to the bar, shoving his phone back into his pocket to get both hands free to pull him in for a kiss as soon as he was close enough.

“Thought you weren’t going to show.”

“Daisy had a lot of questions,” Ward said.

“And you managed to shake her okay?”

“I’m a trained SHIELD agent, Fitz. I can shake Daisy Johnson just fine.”

He laughed and looked over his shoulder at the stage, the girl finishing her songs and stepping down. An older man took the stage, one that Fitz recognized as Old Ricky, a local and a regular at the Nowhere Lounge. The crowd whooped and Fitz joined in, tossing his head back happily. 

“What is happening here?”

“You want me to serenade you,” Fitz said without question, and Ward nodded. “Well.”

He trailed off and gestured to the stage.

“You’re going to get up there?” Ward asked. 

“Yes. Do you want a drink?”

“Yes, please.”

Fitz waved Terry over and ordered Ward a whiskey neat.

“Thanks, Terry.”

“I feel like you’ve hidden a lot from me. What is this place?”

“Just a place in Edinburgh I come to when I need to, when I’m home, when I’m feeling a little too pent up in science. I grew up with Jeremy over there, lived around the corner from him, and he and I had vocal lessons together. I went on to join the Academy, and he took over the Nowhere Lounge from his uncle, made it a place where casual singers and people looking for a song can come and find a place on the stage. It’s one step above a karaoke bar, but don’t tell Jeremy I said that.”

“Noted,” Ward said, eyes darting all over the place, analyzing, calculating. Fitz drew Ward down for a kiss, bringing his attention back to him.

“It’s okay. We’re okay here,” he assured him. 

“Leopold,” Jeremy’s voice came from behind them, breaking the moment. “This must be your boyfriend.”

Ward looked over Fitz’ head with a tight smile, unhappy to have been interrupted. Fitz turned, keeping both hands on Ward somewhere.

“Yeah,  Jer , this is Grant Ward, boyfriend. Grant, this is Jeremy Baird, an old friend of mine.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jeremy said but he was making a face at Fitz that he understood deeply .

“I know, he’s a pretty boy,” Fitz said, giving a voice to the expression. “But he’s my pretty boy, hands off of him.”

“Well, I’m glad you finally got one. I was convinced you’d never be satisfied with someone.”

Fitz rolled his eyes.

“Just because I didn’t want to settle down with you in Edinburgh doesn’t mean I couldn’t be satisfied. We’ve talked about this, Jer.”

Jeremy waved his hand as if sweeping away Fitz’s statement. Fitz felt the way Ward tightened his hand in Fitz’s shirt, protective and jealous as he pieced together who Jeremy was and what he had been to Fitz at one point. 

“Oh,” Ward’s voice was low, barely audible over the music of Old Ricky. “If he touches you-”

Fitz gripped Ward’s wrist, settling him.

“I should go get ready,” Fitz said, turning to Ward, putting his back to Jeremy. “Ready to fall in love with me even more?”

“Always.”

He kissed him, Ward’s mouth tasting of whiskey, before heading towards the side stage with his beer. Old Ricky stepped off the stage and grinned.

“Well, Leo Fitz, been a while, son.”

“Sure has, Ricky,” he said, clapping the man on the shoulder. “Great set, man.”

“Thank you, Leo. I’m going to get me the largest stout they offer.”

“You deserve it.”

Then, Fitz was climbing up the steps onto the stage for the first time in years. It had been a long time since he’d been able to get home, to spend time with his mother, especially with saving the world, especially with SHIELD decaying and growing all over again, and  Inhumans this, and Hydra that.

“Hey everyone,” he said, taking a drink from his beer and setting it on the stool nearby. “I’m Leo Fitz, been a while since I’ve been up on this stage. The Nowhere Lounge has always been friend to me, so I hope you’ll give me the honor of letting me play a few songs for you.”

There was a cheer that went up through the crowd and Leo nodded at them thankfully. He leaned towards the band and whispered to the pianist. They’d arranged it earlier, the band quick to learn the songs Fitz had brought to them. 

He couldn’t see Ward out in the crowd, the lights making it nearly impossible to see anything, but he was singing only for him, singing out into the darkness, knowing that Grant Ward was out there hearing him. 

“Darling, you might think it’s too soon, but I can’t get you out of my head now, picturing myself in your room, and I want to be with you until I’m dead now.”

It was so easy to lose himself in music. Whenever it was just him in the lab, he’d put his headphones in and let the music wash over him until he wasn’t thinking or second guessing himself, he was just doing. He’d built some of his riskier but more rewarding devices while running on music. 

“I want your friends to be my friends. I want to make you breakfast in your bed. I want it all with you, and if I’m coming on too strong, it’s  ‘cause I’ve waited far too long for someone just you.”

Grant’s open expression that morning after Daisy and May had left flashed through his mind, and he smiled into the song. 

“I want a key to your house, I  wanna pick up your clothes, I  wanna clean up your mess, I  wanna know where you hide things,  wanna be in your photos,  wanna share your address.”

He meant it. God, he meant it so deeply. 

“I know, I know it’s too soon, too fast, but this could last. I  wanna share your address. I know, I know it feels like love, so let’s shack up, I  wanna share your address.”

He wanted Grant to know how goddamn serious he was about this thing between them.

“I just  wanna stare at your face then spend quality time with your mother. We can over-drink at your favorite place, and we can waste the whole next day to recover. I  wanna watch you while you sleep, I know I might sound like a creep, but I can't help myself. And it's so easy to forget that we've barely even met but I want no one else.”

Fitz’s heart had been so fickle and fleeting, jumping ship with every pretty person who smiled at him, whose hand lingered on his for a moment. He fell in love easily. There was a while where he was even in love with Jemma, which isn’t unreasonable. She’s  _ Doctor Jemma Simmons _ after all. But this feeling in his chest, this all-encompassing love that he had for Grant had swept him off the safe standing on land and sent him out to sea. He didn’t know how to handle it, but when Grant kissed him, there was order to the world. When Grant touched him, he understood what all the great love songs were about. 

He didn’t want anyone else, only Grant Ward.

Only Grant. 

He carried himself through the remaining choruses and bridges to the end of the song, smiling, the love coursing through him, and he had to tamp down the urge to launch himself off the stage to go straight for him. He had promised Jeremy a set, so at the end of his song, he stepped off the mic to drink his beer. The crowd cheered, which normally was his buoy through the set, but he was already walking on the clouds with Grant being out there somewhere. 

“Thank you. Sorry, like I said, it’s been awhile, so give me a second to catch my breath.”

The pianist, a man who went by the name Tiny Merles played a mocking succession of notes almost like a  _ whomp _ __ _ whomp _ __ from a trombone.

“Alright, mate, that’s enough,” Fitz said with a laugh. “We don’t all have your stamina, Merles.”

“I’m sure your boyfriend would disagree,” Merles said and it was just Fitz and the band that heard him. 

“I’m sure you’re right,” Fitz said. “Okay, let’s stop stalling. You came here for music, so music, I can provide.  Jeremy, this one is for you. You know what you did. ”

Merles picked up the next song, a bouncy break up song that Fitz had always dedicated to Jeremy for the explicit reason that Jeremy Baird was a slut for break up songs. Fitz had forgotten the thrill and heat of the stage, especially the heat. He drained the rest of his beer after Jeremy’s break up song, and one appeared in front of him without question.

“Hey, cheers to the disembodied hand that just brought me a drink. Please don’t let this be drugged.”

There was a laugh scattered across the crowd, but he was actually serious. He’d been drugged before, and kidnapped, and hurt, and here he was, taking a drink from a beer that a disembodied hand from the shadows handed him.  But the thing that kept him going was that Grant was out in the audience, watching him, there with him. Nothing could hurt him while Grant Ward was there. The big bad loner specialist, assassin, spy, that was all  _ his _ .

“If I forget the words to this next song, it’s definitely the drugs in this beer and not that I haven’t sung this song in about two years,” he said. He took a long drink and gestured to the band to start the lead in to the song. It was another soft love song, begging his partner to trust him, to take his hand and commit to them, that he wouldn’t hurt him, begging him to take a chance. It felt impossible that they’d come so far from the day that Fitz had written that song, sitting in the lab, humming out the tune while he watched Ward and Coulson have an argument about some disagreement that hadn’t mattered in the long run. He and Grant weren’t even together then, but staring at Ward day in and day out, he suspected that if he ever got his hands on him, he wouldn’t be able to let go. It had been so long ago, so impossibly and incredibly long after everything they’d survived, everything they’d done and experienced, but here he was just the same.

“You guys are great,” he said at the end of his song. “It’s actually been a while since I was in Edinburgh. I travel for my job, and I got the week off so of course, I came home. What a beautiful city, right? I always miss it.”

He drank from his beer slowly.

“I’ve been really happy recently, so here’s a song about that.”

He sang through three more songs, a soft love song, a gentle song for his mom, and the last a ballad about living in the moment and not waiting for the perfect time to be honest. It was a good song to end on, hopeful and honest. 

“Thank you,” he said at the end of his last song, and he waved as he exited the stage. 

When he stepped out off stage, taking his beer with him, he paused at the bottom of the steps, looking for Grant in the crowd. He was right where Fitz had left him at the bar, the glass of whiskey abandoned at his elbow, and standing behind and around him were their team, all staring wide-eyed at Fitz.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he hissed under his breath. He threw back the rest of his beer and strode across the bar, only getting stopped a few times by people in the audience to congratulate him and offer to buy him a drink. When he made it to the bar, Simmons was still gaping.

“Leopold James Fitz,” she said, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling him towards her. “What the hell was that! Where has that been hiding? Why haven’t you told me?”

“I don’t really tell people.”

“Well, you should,” she gasped. “Fitz, you have an incredible voice!”

“It’s okay,” he said with a shrug. There was a deep ache in his chest, wanting to put this back in the cupboard where he’d hidden it away for all of these years, wanting it to just be his secret with Grant. “Not going to quit my day job for it.”

He kept himself from reaching out for Ward and just breathed, leaning into the bar to tap for Terry’s attention. 

“Beer?”

“I’ll take a whiskey, actually, Terry.”

“Aye,” Terry said and moved to pour Fitz his drink. “Good set, Leo. One of your best.”

“Thanks, Terry.”

“I have to call my wife to remind her I love her after that last one,” he said. 

“Tell her I love her too, okay?”

Terry grinned and saluted him before heading down the bar to help someone else.

“You have a whole other life here,” Daisy said, resting her chin on her hands. “How come this doesn’t come up in searches about you?”

“I make sure it doesn’t.”

She nodded.

“Secretive,” she said. “I like this side of you, Fitz.”

“It’s just not something that I want to share with the world,” he said, eyes finding Ward’s over the crowd of their team. 

“Well, we know now,” Daisy said with a grin. “You really do have a beautiful voice, Fitz. Did you write those songs?”

“I did.”

Ward, behind everyone, was smiling behind his hand, eyes carefully watching him, categorizing him all over again, as if Fitz had unveiled this huge mystery about himself and Ward had to put all of the pieces of what he’d known together with these new ones. Fitz wouldn’t mind letting him. 

“That’s amazing,” Simmons sighed. 

“Thanks. I’d  rather we drop this.”

“ Good,  because we just got a  heads up from  Coulson,”  May said from the back of the group. “ Our  contact let us know the time table has moved up. We have to get back to the Zephyr.”

“Thank god,”  Fitz breathed.  “Let’s go .”

He threw back the rest of his whiskey and headed for the  door without  waiting for the team. There was a  tightness in his chest he did not want to think about , and if he kept moving, he wouldn’t have to.  Maybe he could  outrun it .

* * *

The Zephyr was quiet when they returned, Coulson waiting for them with a file in hand. 

“Oh. Good, you’re all here,” he said, gesturing them to gather around. “Have a good night out?”

“No,” Fitz said as the rest answered, “yes.”

He rolled his eyes but leaned against a counter without another word. Ward leaned against him, their hips touching but nothing else, a weight to remind him he was still there but private enough that it was just for him. It was enough to settle him after everything, despite everything. 

“We got a message from our contact; they said that the drop is happening tomorrow, but in order to get us in to the building, they’ll have to start the process tonight.”

“What does that even mean?” Daisy asked. “What process?”

“They said it’s classified,” Coulson said with a shrug.

“That’s concerning,” Ward stated, even though everyone was feeling it.

“Who is the contact?” May asked.

“We haven’t spoken in person, and I don’t have a name, just a picture that doesn’t hit any facial recognition on any system,” Coulson said, leaning over and tapping a button to open the photo on the big screen for everyone to see. 

“Oh,” Fitz said, louder than intended. Then, he started to laugh. “The contact is Charlie Anderson, are you kidding me? That man can’t keep a secret to save his own goddamn life and  _ he’s _ the inside man?”

The team looked at him, all their eyes falling on him in mild surprise.

“How do you know him?” Simmons asked.

“It’s Edinburgh,” he said with shrug. 

“It’s not a small town,” Daisy said. “It seems a little coincidental that you know our contact.”

“I can’t explain it, but that’s definitely Charlie. I’d know that face anywhere.”

Ward grumbled at his side under his breath.

“Well, problem solved, Fitz goes in,” Coulson said. 

“Where exactly am I going in?” Fitz asked just as Ward and Simmons protested simultaneously. “I can handle undercover on my own, you know. I’m not helpless.”

“I wasn’t saying that,” Simmons said. “It’s just, you don’t know what the mission is. How can you volunteer?”

“Charlie Anderson,” he said with a shrug. “We’ve been friends for a long time, and I trust him. He’s been, well –”

He wasn’t sure how to phrase it delicately. How do you say that he’d taken your virginity and you’d held him when he cried after his parents kicked him out for it? How do you say that when you kissed him back then, you’d have abandoned your plans to join the Academy and would have never have met Simmons? And lying in bed with him had been as close to perfection as he could’ve imagined then.

“We owe each other a lot,” he decided. “Let me meet up with him. I trust him not to fuck me over, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Ward was tensed against him, arms crossed unhappily over his chest, and pointedly was not looking at Fitz, a tension in his jaw. 

“Okay, better get changed, then,” Coulson said. “You’re going to a place called Merlin’s.”

Fitz laughed, turned towards his bunk to change, then stopped to grab Ward’s arm, wrapping his hand around the firm muscle with a smile.

“Come on, you. I’m  gonna need you, too.”

* * *

Ward was stoic when they got back to Fitz’ bunk, quiet as he sank down onto the bed. 

“Tonight was supposed to go differently,” Fitz said, shutting the door behind them. “Very differently. I’d envisioned stepping off the stage and kissing you, and you’d sweep me away to the hotel and you’d absolutely ravish me the way that I want you to. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about it all day, but now I have to go do SHIELD things. How unfair. I want you to touch me so bad, Ward.”

“Who’s Charlie Anderson?” Ward asked, ignoring everything that Fitz said.

“Don’t get jealous,” Fitz said softly. 

“I’m not jealous.”

“Are you sure about that, love? Charlie Anderson is an old friend, like I said, who I have some history with, but I left for the Academy before it went anywhere. I mean, I definitely slept with him, but we weren’t - it wasn’t like that.”

“The way you talked about him, you sounded like you still loved him.”

“I think part of me always will, but Grant, that’s so long ago. I was a kid.”

“You’re still a kid.”

“I’m not.”

“No,” Grant said softly. “You’re not. You’ve changed so much since we met. You’ve been through so much.”

“We have been through so much together, and Charlie Anderson is nothing compared to you, Grant. How I feel about Charlie is  _ nothing _ compared to this.”

Fitz stood above Grant Ward and took his face in his hands. 

“We don’t have a lot of time, Grant. We have to get going, have to get ready and go do this mission, but I want you to know that I want you. I’ll tell you all about Charlie, and Jeremy, and all the feelings I might have had for them if I’d let myself have it, but I want you, I want to stick around, I want to be everything with you, okay?”

The kiss was hot, but slow, Fitz climbing up onto Ward’s lap without stopping to second guess himself. Ward’s arms came around his waist and pulled him in closer, their bodies pressed together deliciously. 

“Do we have time for a quickie?” Ward asked, kissing across the curve of Fitz’s jaw. “I need you so bad.”

“I don’t think we do.”

“I was good,” Ward muttered. “I didn’t touch myself.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Fitz cooed, dragging his hands down Ward’s arms and back up to hold his jaw. “God, I want you so bad.”

“Take me, then.”

“We can’t. We have this mission and I swear to god, Daisy will absolutely know we fucked before we go out in the field.”

“Let her know, then.”

“Grant Ward, you’re a menace.”

“Fitz,” he whispered, and he had that soft seductive look, the  _ come get me _ look that always got them in trouble. 

There was a knock on his door.

“You’re leaving in ten minutes,” May called. “Do whatever you have to before that.”

“We can manage in ten minutes,” Ward said. “I’ve made you come in three, so I’m sure we can do something magical in ten.”

Fitz pushed him onto his back and slid off Ward’s lap to kneel between his knees, pulling at the opening on his jeans until he could pull them off Ward’s hips. 

“Give me, get them off.”

“Get me off,” Grant replied. 

“Pants first and then I’ll get you off.”

“You’re talented enough to get me off without taking my pants off,” he challenged. “You’ve done it before. The first time at that club in Spain, you remember that? I came just from you rubbing me through my jeans, from you talking dirty in my ear, softly, like you were serenading me.”

“I’m not going to sing to you tonight to get you off. It’s a little hard to sing when you’re sucking cock.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“Speaking from common sense.”

“We’ll have to test that,” Ward said. “I’d love to hear that voice, feel that voice on my cock.”

“I’ll put it on the list,” Fitz said, managing to get Ward’s pants and underwear off with one last tug and leaned in towards him. 

“Where is the list?” 

Fitz tapped his temple and then as Ward opened his mouth to sass him something Fitz was sure was very witty, Fitz took Ward’s length into his mouth without preamble. They didn’t have a lot of time; any foreplay would have to wait for after the mission when they were safely back in the safety and privacy of their hotel room. Although, May and Daisy had proven that it wasn’t that safe and private when you were an Agent of SHIELD. 

“Fuck, Fitz,” Grant groaned, throwing his head back. Fitz worked his mouth up and down Grant’s cock with practiced ease, looking up the lean lines of his body, the long curve of his throat, the sharp angles of his jaw. His cock was always a steady weight, warm and firm under his tongue, and honestly, Fitz could take an hour just tracing his tongue over it if Grant wouldn’t get all  pissy from being teased. Grant didn’t like being teased.

There was a bullet point on the list that Fitz had been trying to work towards where he stripped Grant naked, tied him to the bed, and kissed every single inch of skin on his body, teasing and taunting, bringing Grant to the point he was about to come and letting him fall back away from the edge again. He could get Grant to do it just by saying they were going to, he knew that, but he also didn’t want to lose his trust by demanding it. Besides, they never had enough time alone for hours upon hours of play and discovery. They were lucky to get an hour alone. 

Fitz would kill to have an hour to take Grant apart right then.

“Fucking  _ eyelashes, _ ” Grant hissed.  Fitz pulled off and stroked Grant , resting his  chin on Grant’s hip.  “ You’re amazing. Don’t ever stop.”

“ I never want to touch anyone else,” Fitz said.  “I love you.”

“I love you,” Grant moaned, letting his  head fall back again, breaking eye  contact. “ Fuck,  I’m so close.”

“Come for me, then, Grant.”

“I love the way you  say my name. Your accent is so goddamn hot.”

“ Are you just with me to get off to my voice?”

“No, but it’s  certainly a perk.”

He took Grant's cock into his mouth and  winked  up at him ,  bobbing up and down, stroking  his hand  up and down  in tandem with his mouth, focused on the way Grant whined and groaned.  Grant's voice broke as he keened, hips  rising up to meet  Fitz's mouth .

“I’m  gonna – Leo,”  he groaned as he came,  hot and  silky against the  back of  Fitz’s throat.  He swallowed  it all down and pulled off, sucking just enough to clean  Grant  of any  remaining cum or spit.  Satiated, Grant went loose on the bed, hips and legs  limp on either side of  Fitz. “Goddamn, Leo, you’re so good at that. So  _ fucking _ good at that.”

“Probably shouldn’t have blown your mind when  we’re about to head out on mission,” Fitz said,  unbuttoning his own pants  and  dragging his own  erection out. It wouldn’t take much to  get off, not after Grant’s moans had echoed in his ears, after singing on stage which always turned him on, after not seeing or touching Grant all day. 

“I’ll  be okay by the time I get you off. Come up here, let me touch you.”

“ Gladly,” Fitz said, climbing up onto the bed  and swinging his  leg over Grant’s chest to straddle him. 

“Fuck,”  Grant said. “I love when you’re on top .  Be on top more.”

“Grant?”

“Yes, love?”

“Touch me before I  make you watch me get myself off without you ,” Fitz said. 

“Can’t have that,”  Grant said, shifting  so he could wrap his hand around him  and stroke slowly. “Hold on. This is a weird angle.” 

He  sat up, and Fitz slid down his chest to fall into his lap. Grant kissed him hard and fierce,  hand falling down to  wrap around Fitz' cock again at a better angle. 

Fitz groaned into  the kiss, hips rocking with Grant’s rhythm. It was perfect, heat  pouring between them, their breaths  quick.

“I want the world with you,” Fitz said.  He couldn’t pinpoint what made him say it, the rushed  minute in time when they could be alone, or the high of knowing they didn’t have to hide anymore. He could kiss Grant Ward whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted. “I want a house, a car, a little picket – fuck, just like that – fence , and  maybe kids, I don’t know,  but I want you.”

“ I want that,”  Grant said. “I never  have before, with anyone else, but Fitz,  _ Leo _ , I want that with you. ”

Fitz grabbed  onto Grant , rocking harder into  Grant’s hand. 

“Promise?”

“Yes.”

He laughed, resting his forehead against Grant’s. 

“ I  didn’t mean to propose.”

“I meant to say yes.”

Fitz and Grant stopped, staring into each other's eyes. 

“ _ Yes _ , Leopold Fitz. ”

“Grant ,”  Fitz said.  “Grant Ward.  I want you for the rest of my life. Yes.  One hundred times over yes.”

“My first act as your husband to be, Leo Fitz, is to make you come.”

“Please.”

He made quick work of Fitz,  pulling every trick he knew to make him squirm and pant in his grasp.

“I ’m going to come all over your shirt,” Fitz warned.

“I have to change anyway. ”

“Most people  would-”

He gasped as Grant twisted his hand  just right and kissed him,  muffling his  shout as he  came across  Grant’s hips and stomach. 

“Fuck,” he managed, resting his forehead against Grant’s. “You’re so good to me.”

“You deserve every orgasm  you want.”

“ And you to give them to me?”

“Well, I don’t want anyone else to touch you.  You’re mine.”

Fitz kissed him over and over until he could  breathe evenly and stand on his own without his knees giving way.

“Get dressed,” he said. “ We’re going clubbing, so you know, tight, black, leather. You know what I’m talking about. You know what I like. ”

* * *

Merlin’s was loud, bright,  and hot, bodies moving desperately against each other to the beat. It hadn’t  changed  in all the years since Fitz had been there last.  Grant kissed him in the dark of the entrance before slipping away into the crowd, leaving  Fitz  to head for bar.  He ordered a beer  and leaned against the counter,  examining  the faces  at the bar. 

He kept an eye on Grant who moved naturally, his body brushing up against the crowd easily, moving with the rhythm of the crowd if not the beat of the music. He was stunning, the moving lights catching all the angles of his faces, lighting his hair up colorful. Fitz wanted to run his fingers through that hair all over again, watch the way it caught the rainbow ever-moving in the shadows of the club.

“ Leopold,” a thick, heavy Scottish accent that  Fitz  knew intimately  said from behind him and  a hand touched his waist. “You look  so good.”

Fitz turned and found Charlie Anderson standing behind him, as gorgeous and heartbreaking as the last time they’d said goodbye. 

“Charles,”  he greeted.

“ Good to see you, man,”  Charlie said, drawing him into a hug.  It wasn’t anything like being held by Grant,  somehow foreign and nostalgic at the same time.  He  didn’t fit in Charlie’s arms the same,  not as if Charlie could shield him from the world.  “God, you are gorgeous, aren’t you?”

“ Thanks,” Fitz said with a laugh,  scrubbing a  hand through his hair. 

“Care for a dance, Leopold?”

“I  – it is good to see you, too but I’m not here  for  pleasure. I’m here for work. ”

The look of joy  slid from Charlie’s face. 

“I thought you might be SHIELD,” he said with a sigh, and something unfamiliar danced in the darks of his eyes. 

“How?”

“You showed back up in town  at the same time as the Director of SHIELD.”

“You know –”

“ Don’t insult me, Leopold. Yes, I know who Phil Coulson is. You’re not the only one involved with secret spy organizations.”

“Right.”

“ I didn’t take you for  someone who left the lab, though.  You used to be so timid.  You were  so, who  changed you, Leopold Fitz? That guy in  the crowd who is watching us so closely? I know that look on his face.  He loves you, doesn’t he?”

“Charlie, don’t. This isn’t about him.”

“And you love him, too. That’s really sweet.”

“Charlie, focus, please.”

“Right,  sorry. I never thought I’d see you again. I said goodbye to you that day and , god, Leopold, I  thought  I’d have to  go my entire life without seeing you. ”

“ I know. Charlie, I know, but  we were kids. We’ve changed.”

“Yeah, look at you,” he said, touching Fitz's hips. Fitz glanced over his shoulder and found Grant in the crowd, casually slipping by a grinding trio of men, eyes alert and watching them. “Right. Boyfriend.”

“ You  have intel for us,” Fitz said.  “Let’s bring it around to that. ”

“Right. Come here, Leopold.”

He wrapped his hands around  Fitz's hips and drew him in close, putting his mouth on his ear. 

“Take out your ear piece and leave it on the bar. Leave any tracker on the bar as well.”

“What? That wasn’t a part of the agreement.”

“ Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

Charlie kissed him, then, quick and teasing, a ghost of the past on their lips.

“Do it and follow me.”

Fitz reached up and pulled him communicator out of his ear and set it on the bar beside his beer. He also took his phone out of his pocket, and set it beside it.

“Good.”

Then, Charlie was leaving the bar, and Fitz felt himself moving after him even though his brain and his common sense were screaming at him to get Grant Ward, to get his boyfriend and bodyguard on board, but he kept moving without stopping. Something didn’t feel right in his gut but it was  _ Charlie _ . He followed Charlie into the darkened back hall, and through the twisting halls around the outside of Merlin’s main room. 

“Where are we –”

“Shut up, we’re almost there.”

He pushed through a door leading out into the cool Scottish air, flurries of snow starting in the darkness, and kept moving. Fitz followed, trying to keep an eye out for everything, anything, trying to be prepared in case this was a trap. They were moving too fast, and Fitz wasn’t trained for this, despite what Ward had tried to teach him over the years since they’d met. He wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t a mission guy. Even when he went out in the field, he had one of the actual agents with him. He always felt like an honorary agent, his badge didn’t mean as much as Grant’s or May’s. 

“Through here, Leo,” Charlie said, ducking into a doorway in the alley. “Come on. Fast.” 

Fitz followed and as soon as he stepped into the building, the world went dark and musty as a bag was swept over his head. 

“Fuck,” he hissed. 

“Sorry, bud. Time for a location change.”

* * *

When the hood was removed, Fitz was in the middle of a warehouse, empty and dusty, broken pieces of machinery and weaponry just left on the ground around him. He was sat in a chair, his arms and legs bound to the chair and Charlie stood before him, arms crossed.

“You shouldn’t have come,” Charlie said softly. “You shouldn’t be here, Leopold.”

It was just then that Fitz realized that it was all a trap.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, and he stepped back.

Charlie was the trap. 

A man in a neat black suit with Hydra cufflinks winking in the fluorescent light stepped into his vision. 

“Hello, Fitz,” he said, voice slick, American accent odd after so many Scottish accents making themselves familiar in Fitz’s ears again. Fitz didn’t recognize him, just another Hydra head that they would take down, the cogs moving, never-ending. 

“I knew if I pulled the right strings, you would come running. Dangle a pretty face in front of you, a familiar face from your past, and I could get you to do whatever I wanted. All Charlie had to do was ask. How easy. How pathetic.”

Fitz couldn’t take his eyes off Charlie, though, stepping further away, expression crumpled. He hadn’t ever seen Charlie so distraught, even after his parents had turned him away and he’d cried himself to sleep in Fitz’s arms. 

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said.

The man shot him a look and Charlie shut up.

“What do you want?”

“I want to take down SHIELD,” the man said simply. “I want to do what all of my predecessors could not. I’ve been watching you, drawing you out into missions, examining how you work with each other.”

He leaned down over Fitz, looming right above him.

“And I  sussed out exactly what would crumple SHIELD. You, Leopold Fitz, are where SHIELD can fall.”

“You’ve  sussed out wrong,” Fitz said.

The man grinned, his face malicious. 

“And you’re supposed to be so clever. I take you, Grant Ward follows. Yes, I know about your affair with Grant Ward. They all come charging in here to save you. And when they do, I can destroy SHIELD with one blow. One very big, very explosive blow. Imagine, taking down all of SHIELD because of one stupid boy with his heart on his sleeve.”

Fitz tugged at the bindings, unable to even move them.

“Let’s just give them a little incentive, shall we?” 

The man took off the suit jacket and tossed it at Charlie who caught it with a small, startled yelp. Fitz knew what was happening, he’d been here before, so he kept his eyes on Charlie.

“What the fuck, Charlie?”

The man didn’t stop, rolling his sleeves up slowly, keeping his eyes on the interaction between them but not intervening.

“You asked me to trust you! What the fuck, Charles?”

“You left, Leo. You absolutely left me as soon as you could! You left for the Academy and never came back, never checked up on me, never even  _ cared _ .”

“So, you decided to let someone murder me?”

“When you showed up again, it’s with another man who you’re wildly in love with!”

“So, you decided to let someone  _ murder me _ ?”

“It’s not like that.”

Fitz struggled wildly in the seat to try and gesture around them. 

“What is this, then, Charles? This isn’t me about to be murdered? You’re not that dumb. Don’t be that naïve.”

“It’s not like that! He was just supposed to – it’s not supposed to be this.”

“I’m strapped to a chair! He’s about to beat the shit out of me! It’s exactly like this! And I swear to god, if I get out of this, I’m going to absolutely do the same to you.”

“No,” Charlie said, shaking his head and stepping back. “No, it’s not –”

“Shut up,” Fitz said. “I no longer want to see you. You’ve ruined everything we ever had.”

“No,” Charlie said again.

“Focus here, boy,” the man said, drawing Fitz’s eyes back. 

The first punch is a surprise but welcome compared to the gaping hole Fitz felt in his chest, sucking and open. The ones that followed didn’t matter; he was already broken.

* * *

When he opened his eyes, he could barely see, his eyes already starting to swell. The warehouse was quiet, and the man was cleaning his hands with a handkerchief across from him, sitting casually in a chair as if they were old friends catching up over coffee.

“ Ahh , you’re awake, I was hoping I hadn’t done too much. Your team should be well on their way. I sent them a lovely picture to detail exactly what I’ve done. What do you think, Charles?”

Fitz found Charlie sitting on the ground, his arms wrapped around his knees, crying silently into them. He looked like a child, scared and helpless, like how he’d been when Fitz had left. 

Charlie didn’t reply.

“Oh, don’t be a spoil sport, Charles.”

“Leave him alone,” Fitz groaned. “He’s not used to being a spineless rat.”

The man laughed, tossing his head back.

“I like your fire, Leopold. Unexpected. I like it.”

“Fuck off,” he said, resting his head back. He closed his eyes and pictured the hotel room that morning, Grant pressed against him, kissing along his collarbone, the sunshine warming their bed, wrapped around each other until Fitz didn’t know where his body and Grant’s ended and started. He pictured the way Grant moaned as he came. He pictured the warmth of his gaze, the brush of his hands, the softness of his kiss. “You’re not going to like it when my boyfriend gets here.”

“Oh, the big bad agent of SHIELD, John Garrett told me all about him.” 

Fitz couldn’t stop himself from tensing up at that name. Grant had told Fitz about John Garrett, the Hydra agent who had collected him like a trinket and trained him like a dog, implanting him in SHIELD and trying to indoctrinate him into Hydra. Garrett had done horrendous things to Grant in order to make him obedient and in turn, he’d done terrible things in the name of Hydra, under Garrett’s thumb. It had been Victoria Hand that had taken Grant in under her wing and drawn him back into SHIELD, and put him into play as a triple agent. But it didn’t erase the damage that Garrett had done to him. 

“Don’t say that name,” Fitz gritted out.

“Oh, so you do know who John Garrett is, and what he’s done for Hydra. Interesting.”

“You think my boyfriend wouldn’t tell me about John Garrett, and that Victoria Hand was stronger and more compassionate and more understanding, and managed to slip Grant Ward out of Hydra’s grasp without anyone knowing? Hydra will fall because of people like Victoria Hand. People like Grant Ward. You made a mistake taking me.”

He stared at the man, steady, gaze not faltering.

“Why’s that?”

“Because Grant Ward works better alone.”

There was the unmistakable sound of a shot ringing from somewhere above and behind him, and then, the man jerked back. Blood sprayed behind him, and he slumped down in the chair. 

“Bitch,” Fitz groaned. “Come down here and save me. Oh, Charles?”

“Yeah?” Charlie whimpered out.

“Get out of here before he gets these cuffs off of me, or I will rip you apart with my own goddamn hands before he can do it himself.”

Charlie stood, knees knocking together almost comically, almost cartoonish. And then, as Fitz heard the tell-tale sound of Ward’s boots on the concrete behind him, Charlie was gone. 

“Fitz,” he said, and he was there.

Grant Ward was  _ there.  _

“Ward,” he whispered, rattling his bindings. “Get these off of me.”

Ward worked at the ropes at Fitz’s feet first and then his wrists, and finally, Fitz was free, falling into Ward’s arms. Into Grant’s arms. There was no delineation here. 

“God, what did he do to you?”

“I’m okay,” Fitz said, gripping onto Grant. “I promise. Thanks for coming.”

“We’re going to have a long discussion about leaving your phone and comm behind, that was incredibly stupid of you and I know you’re not stupid,” Grant said, but his voice was soft, “but for now, let me look at you.”

“They used Charlie against me. They wanted to bring down SHIELD. But they didn’t count on you.”

“They never do.”

Grant worked at categorizing all of the bruises and wounds on Fitz’s body, silent but gentle, fingertips barely grazing his skin.

“This is really not how I pictured tonight going,” Fitz said, trying to go for light even though everything was crying out in his body. “I’d let you fuck me right here if it wouldn’t hurt.”

“After all this?” Grant asked, gesturing to the dirty warehouse, his battered body, the dead body of the Hydra agent. 

“I just want to feel close to you, I guess.”

“I’m right here.”

“I know, it’s still too far,” Fitz said quietly, resting his forehead against Grant’s collarbone. 

“Later, when we’re back on the ship, in the air, away from here, or in the hotel, locked away from the team and the world, I’ll take you apart just the way you like, but for right now,” he said, and he pulled out the phone Fitz had left on the bar. “Call the team and let them know we’re on our way back but to send May and Daisy to take care of the mess, and to have Simmons ready to take a better look at you.”

“Fine, but only if you promise you won’t go too far from me.”

“I won’t.”

Fitz took the phone as Grant helped him stand. His body ached, wrists and ankles chafed from the bindings, his head hurt, eyes still swollen. 

“Fuck, ouch,” he groaned. 

“Just breathe through it.”

He nodded and dialed while they started to pick their way across the warehouse.

“Fitz, mission report,” Coulson said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it was all a trap from Hydra. If you’ll believe it, he was trying to get rid of SHIELD.”

“How predictable,” Coulson said.

“Yeah. Ward’s here, though, and we’re on our way back. He said to have May and Daisy head over here, clean up the mess.”

“Send us the location.”

“And?” Grant said, nudging him ever so gently as not to hurt him. 

“He also wanted me to have Simmons ready for when we get back.”

“Simmons?” Coulson asked.

Grant reached and took the phone easily from Fitz.

“Hello sir, it’s Ward. He’s hurt. No, nothing bad, I’d just prefer if he was looked at sooner rather than – of course. Yeah, I know. Yes, sir. I’ll get him home safe and sound. I promise. Yes, sir. See you soon.”

* * *

Simmons greeted him with a tentative but careful hug, then dragged  him into the medical bay with Coulson and Ward following. Daisy and May, they’d told him, were following any clues left in the warehouse as to who the man was or if he’d had any help.

“If you find Charlie,” Fitz said, pulling his shirt up over his head for Simmons’ examination, “don’t hurt him. He’s stupid and naïve, but he’s not Hydra.”

“Why’d you follow him?” Coulson asked. “Who is he?”

“He was the first boy I ever loved,” Fitz said, “my first boyfriend. When I left for the Academy, I thought I’d never see him again.”

“How would they know that? To use him?”

“That, I don’t know. I’ve been openly queer since I was thirteen, but I don’t advertise my relationships.”

Simmons glanced between him and Ward and muttered, “obviously.”

“Maybe he asked around. Charlie and I weren’t a secret back in high school, so if he just asked anyone from our class, they’d know. But Daisy and I can look through any footprint I’ve left and see if anything points to Charlie, and then we can do a deep scrub of any other,  uhm , weak links.”

Coulson nodded.

“So, Charlie asked you to follow,” he said, leading them back to the informal debriefing while Simmons examined his injuries. She had him stand and take off his pants, leaving him in just his boxers while she checked his knees and legs. 

“Okay, you need to get some rest,” she said, “and put an ice pack on that eye, but I don’t see anything that needs medical attention.”

“Yeah, he was just trying to send a message. Wanted to draw the team out by hurting me. But Ward doesn’t play by SHIELD rules so, spoiled that plan.”

“We’ll definitely need to talk about that decision, Ward,” Coulson said, “but the formal debrief can wait until the morning. Why don’t you two go get some sleep?”

“Actual sleep,” Simmons said. “Leopold Fitz, you actually  _ sleep _ , okay?”

“I don’t like what you’re insinuating.”

“We’ve known each other too long for you to lie to me, Fitz,” she said, glancing at Ward again, “and you know it.”

Coulson coughed and looked at Ward.

“Should we let them be alone for a few moments?”

“I didn’t mean to lie,” Fitz said, “I never said I wasn’t in a relationship.”

“Yes, that’s probably for the best,” Ward said, and the two of them left Fitz and Simmons alone.

“Yes, but you didn’t tell me you  _ were _ in a relationship.”

“I didn’t tell anyone. We didn’t tell anyone. It was just us, just for us.” 

“But I’m not anyone, Fitz! I’m your best friend. You could have told me!”

“I know,” he said. “But I didn’t – this is going to sound so wrong, but I didn’t want to. He was all mine, and I didn’t want to share what I have with him.”

“I don’t want to steal him.”

“Not like that. I mean, when it’s just us, we’re all I have to worry about. I can enjoy being around him, being with him because I don’t have to be self-conscious. It’s just me and him.”

“That sounds nice, but Fitz,” she said softly, “I don’t care who you’re with, just that you’re happy and they’re good to you.”

He sighed, and nodded, because Simmons, annoyingly, was always right.

“I know,” he said. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him carefully, avoiding where the man had struck him. 

“Is he?”

“What?”

“Good to you?”

“He broke  SHIELD protocol to come find me first,” he said. “The first thing he did was let me free and then hug me. He’s perfect.”

“I’m glad,” she said. 

“We’re actually planning on telling  Elsbeth Fitz this week that we’re dating.”

“Oh!” 

She let him go to step back and laugh.

“He’s going to meet your mum!”

“He is, and I’m terrified.”

“Why?”

“I’ve never had to introduce anyone to my mum before. Not someone like Ward.”

“Do you call him Ward in bed?”

“Simmons!” he laughed. “No!”

“So, you call him Grant? Or do you call him Agent? That would be hot.”

“Simmons, what the fuck.”

She laughed and shrugged.

“Just curious.”

“Keep your curiosity out of my sex life, at the very least.”

“Oh, alright. Spoil sport.”

“Hey, Jemma?”

“Yes, Leo?” 

“I have a boyfriend,” he said, and she broke out in a wide smile. 

“You have a boyfriend!”

“I’m going to tell you all about him, Jemma, I promise, but I should go to bed. Doctor’s orders.” 

“Actually  _ sleep _ , Fitz.”

“I will.”

“Fitz, please.”

“Jemma, I’m going to sleep. I’m exhausted. I was kidnapped and attacked and betrayed. I’m going to sleep.”

“With your  _ boyfriend _ .”

“With my boyfriend.”

* * *

Back at his bunk, Ward was lounged on his bed, having changed into soft sweatpants and a t-shirt that Fitz wanted to bury his face in. 

“Hello,” he said, opening his arms towards Fitz. “Come here. You’re too far away.”

“Too far,” Fitz agreed, stripping his shirt and jeans off again. “God, you’re always too far.”

“Then come on over here, lover.”

Fitz laughed, leaving only his boxers on as he crossed the room, falling into the space left free under Grant’s arm. 

“Oh, ow. Shouldn’t have done that.”

“You need to be more careful with yourself,” Grant said, his arm coming around Fitz to move him closer. “What did Simmons say?”

“That I could have trusted her and that I should have told her.”

“Nothing about the mission?”

“I’m alive. This isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to me.”

“Yeah, I know, I’m glad you’re alive.”

“I’m glad I am, too.”

Grant kissed his forehead, softly, and breathed him in.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do about my mom,” Fitz said, curling his hand in the fabric of Grant’s shirt. “I want you to meet her. I want her to know that we’re together and I love you, but like, this.”

He gestured to his face, his eye in a permanent squint. 

“Does she not know you’re in SHIELD?”

“She knows, but she doesn’t know I’m in the field.”

“Oh.”

“And I don’t know that she would be happy about that.”

“Time to be honest, I guess.”

“A bunch of honesty happening this week.”

“But think of how open we can be next week,” Grant said, “when I can kiss you outside of this bunk or in the shadows.”

“That’ll be nice,” Fitz said, nuzzling into Grant’s side, his voice slowing as he felt himself start to fall asleep. He tipped his head back just enough to look at Grant’s face. “Hey, I love you.”

Grant grinned.

“I love you, too.”

“Hey, I kind of proposed earlier, I think? That felt like three years ago now. Should we tell anyone about that?”

“Nah,” Grant said. “They’ll figure it out when we invite them to our wedding.”

* * *

“We’re going to stay docked here in Edinburgh for the rest of the week,” Coulson decided after both  Ward and Fitz  had gone through their formal  mission debriefing the next morning . “We’re following some leads from the warehouse Fitz was taken to, but nothing that can’t be done from the ship. And Fitz’s face looks terrible so we’re not going anywhere with that.”

“Thanks,” Fitz said from his place on the couch, legs over Grant’s lap.  It was  nice to just be with him without expectation, to do something as casual and every day as touch him when they’d hidden away and denied themselves this for a year and a half. “I think.”

“ So, I wanted to apologize for yesterday. We got you a present,” Daisy said ,  her hands behind her .

“If it’s any kind of sex toy,” Fitz started, but she handed over a keycard before he could finish. It was a different hotel in the center of the city,  nicer, fancier, more expensive with higher security. 

“To make up for us busting in on you yesterday. We won’t even enter the hotel unless we have explicit permission from one of you.”

“That’s actually, that’s really sweet, Daisy. Thank you.”

She grinned,  clearly pleased that he liked it.

“I finished the scrub, by the way, this morning. Nothing should trace back to Charlie or any other boyfriends. I’ll need a list from everyone else if they want me to do the same, and I can get started on those as soon as tomorrow. Oh, and Fitz? I did find a certain video of you performing at a talent show.”

He sighed , because of course this was his  punishment .

“You’re an absolute menace, Daisy Johnson.”

“I know,” she said, her grin turning wicked at the edges. “It’s on everyone’s tablets and on every device capable of playing video on this plane. But I’ve locked it away unless you  push me, Fitz.”

“Noted.”

“Okay, cool.”

“What is everyone doing in Edinburgh this week? Besides, you know, this,” he said, gesturing around them at the ship and the computers. 

“I’ve never been, so I want to see everything,” Daisy said. “There’s a castle, right?”

“Edinburg Castle, yeah. It’s cool, I haven’t been since I was a kid.”

“Really? Team outing? Yeah? Team bonding in Edinburgh, led by our favorite Scotsman?”

“I mean, we can. Someone is going to have to doll me up so we don’t get a bunch of stares.”

“Are you giving me permission to do your make up, Leopold Fitz?” Daisy asked, and there was a predatorial glint in her eyes.

“Simmons, help,” he said, realizing his mistake.

“Sorry, Fitz. You’re going to have to get yourself out of this one. You spoke it into the world, and the world supplied. That doesn’t fall under my realm of fixing for you.”

He sighed heavily, and looked towards Grant for a little help but only got just a shrug in response.

“I know better than to argue with Daisy. Sorry, babe.”

“Oh,” Daisy said softly as if realizing something all at once. “It’s weird hearing you say that, to Fitz.”

“Why is that?” Grant asked, and there was a weird edge to his voice that Fitz wasn’t sure anyone else heard or would recognize. Fitz took his hand casually and squeezed it, removing the edge from Grant’s posture, the hard line of the temper in his mouth. Grant’s eyes flicked over him and softened. 

“I mean, I don’t really associate you with, you know, love and affection. No offense.”

“You do work better alone,” Fitz teased. “You’ve said so yourself.”

Grant hummed but didn’t comment, instead choosing to lean in and kiss Fitz’s temple, right above the darkest bruise on his face, staring directly at Daisy like a challenge. 

“Well, anyway,” Daisy said, “if you want me to, I can fix your face. Not that you don’t look super badass and honestly a little hot, but I can clean you up. Between Simmons and I, we should be able to mix up your shade.”

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“That’s okay,” Simmons said, “you just have to sit still and let us make you pretty again.”

“Excuse me,” Fitz said, mock offended, “I never stopped being pretty.”

“That’s true,” Grant said low in his ear. 

“I’d still fuck you,” Hunter said from somewhere nearby and Fitz automatically flipped him off. 

“No,” Grant and Fitz said simultaneously. 

“Well, if he ever singles you up, Fitz, you know where to find me.”

“Not a chance, Hunter,” Grant said. He turned his attention back to Fitz with a smile. “This one is mine.”

* * *

“Last chance,” Fitz said, handing the cab driver his fare, sliding out after Grant, “this is the last chance you have to get rid of me. My mum will absolutely love you and never let me let you go.”

“Well, your mom and I have something in common already,” Grant said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I don’t want to leave you, Leo. I mean it. I was trained not to get emotionally attached to anyone, especially with going out undercover. But you somehow got in, you got past all of my training and my barriers. I didn’t stand a chance; you were so cute and charming and I couldn’t help but love you, even when I didn’t want to. I don’t want to let you go. I found you, and you’re it for me. I’m not going to let you go now.”

Fitz stood on his toes and kissed his boyfriend slow and sweet.

“I love you.”

“Then prove it, put your money where your – that doesn’t make any sense. Come meet my mum.”

He took Grant’s hand and started towards the door, which opened before they reached the bottom step and Elsbeth was in the door. 

“Leopold!” she greeted, bustling out onto the front porch and reached for him, pulling him into a hug. His body still ached, even after the couple of days since the attack, but somehow her hug was soothing instead of painful. “Oh, my sweet boy.”

He hadn’t even been gone that long, but having her close, having her there was a relief he didn’t know he was waiting on. Even with Grant standing awkwardly to one side, he clung to his mum, desperate for her proximity.

“Oh! I’m being rude. Who is this?” she asked, stepping back from Leo reluctantly.

“Mum, this is my boyfriend, Grant Ward. Grant, this is my mum, Elsbeth Fitz.”

“Oh!  _ Oh _ ! Really? You have a boyfriend, and you didn’t tell me? How long – Leopold James, what were you thinking?” she said, and then did an about face to smile at Grant. “Please, where are my manners? It is very nice to meet you. Please, come on in out of the cold!”

She ushered them inside, but gave Leo a long look meaning that they’d have a discussion about him never mentioning a boyfriend before.

“Leopold hasn’t mentioned a boyfriend. How long have you been together?”

“We hadn’t really told anyone until this week, although that wasn’t a conscious decision,” Grant said, and he was as charming as Leo had ever seen him outside of their own little world. Grant, as pretty and dazzlingly dangerous as he was, was actually terrible with people. It came from years of isolation at Garrett’s hands, tests and tortures that he’d endured. Leo knew that. He was burning hot, and no one could deny that, and a top tier SHIELD agent, even according to Maria Hill, but his people skills were abysmal. It was endearing. “As for how long, it’s been about 2 years. I think?”

He glanced at Leo who shrugged.

“Depends on what you consider our first date,” Leo said. He didn’t want to tell his mum that they’d just fucked around for nearly half a year before Leo had accidentally said he didn’t want Grant seeing anyone else, and Grant, possessive as ever, agreed emphatically. He didn’t want to tell his mum that their first date by Grant’s standards was in a dirty nightclub back hall on a mission when they were supposed to be waiting for word from Coulson to move in, rubbing desperately up against each other to the pounding bass until they came, gasping each other’s names like prayers and curses. “We disagree, but it’s somewhere between a year and a half and two years.”

“And you didn’t tell anyone? At all?” Elsbeth asked, sitting them down in the kitchen. “Tea?”

“You sit, Mum. I’ll get it.”

“Oh, Leo, you’re such a good boy. Thank you.”

“We didn’t, no,” Grant said. “Actually, the only reason we told our friends this week was because they saw us.”

“Is that why you are telling me now?”

Leo looked up from where he was filling the kettle at the sink to meet Grant’s eyes.

“No,” they said, and Grant continued, “it was actually our plan to tell you this week before we got spotted.”

He laughed, and Leo sighed contentedly at that noise in his mother’s kitchen, and even though his back was to them, he could imagine the way Grant scratched the back of his neck. It was one of the most disarming things he did, and it always caught Leo by surprise. 

“Well, I’m glad I came first in theory,” Elsbeth said.

Leo carefully set the kettle back on its heater and flicked it on, then moved to get three mugs, his old mug still its same old place, and dropped a bag into each. He didn’t even know if Grant liked tea, but you didn’t go to Elsbeth Fitz’s house and not get served a cuppa. 

“How did you two  meet ?” she asked. 

“We’re on the same team,” Grant replied, “at SHIELD.”

“Ahhhh, another co-worker. I met Daisy the other day, she was very nice. And of course, Jemma is lovely. What is it that you do, then, Grant?”

“I’m a field agent,” he said carefully, and glanced at Leo who shrugged. “I was a trained specialist, combat and undercover missions, things like that.”

“That sounds very exciting. And how – how do you work together?” 

This was the problem with Grant finally meeting his mum. He was going to have to fess up to the truth. 

“About that, Mum,” Leo said before Grant had to. “I guess there’s something else I haven’t told you.”

“Leopold,” she said, voice shy of a scolding. 

“It’s just that I’ve been out in the field on missions for the past, what, three years? Does that sound right? Three years?”

“I think so.”

“It was Jemma’s idea if you want to get angry at anyone,” Leo said before Elsbeth could start yelling.

“Don’t pawn this off on sweet Jemma. I don’t care that you’re out in the field, although don’t think I don’t notice that you’re wearing makeup over bruises right now. I care that you didn’t  _ tell me _ , Leopold. You’re grown up and out of my house but I am still your mum, and if I’m worrying about you, I want to be worrying the correct amount.”

Leo sighed.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, Mum. I promise I’ll tell you things in a  timelier manner.”

“Thank you.”

The kettle clicked off and he turned his attention back to the task at hand, neatly pouring three equal amounts of water into the mugs. They had to steep but while they were, he set about grabbing the sugar bowl and the cream from the fridge. 

“Grant, how do you like your tea?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve never really tried it before,” Grant asked, and both  Fitzs turned to him, stunned. “I haven’t really had a lot of opportunities.”

“I - you – that's an out and out lie, Grant Ward,” Leo stuttered. “It’s been a year and a half; I have a cup of tea at least once a day.”

“It never occurred to me to have one with you, to be honest. Besides, you make me coffee at the same time.”

That was true. Grant Ward liked strong coffee with two sugars, and sometimes, when it was just them, he’d get a flavored creamer that always put a little smile on his face. Leo made him a travel mug for Christmas the year before that didn’t let out any smell so that Grant could drink his peppermint mocha coffee more often, and Leo got to see that smile more often.

“Well, let’s try something new, love,” Elsbeth said, patting his hand, and Leo saw the way Grant’s face contorted for a split second, confusion warring with contentment. Grant didn’t have a mother like Elsbeth. Grant had had parents like Alistair Fitz, harsh and cruel and mean, never satisfied, never happy, always pushing, shoving, blaming their problems on Grant and his siblings. It was no wonder that Grant had went running into Garrett’s arms the second he was offered some kind of father figure. 

Leo knew how incredibly lucky he was to have someone like Elsbeth in his life. 

Leo counted his blessings on nights when the nightmares were too loud, too bright, too suffocating, and when he got to Elsbeth Fitz, he couldn’t her twice.

He hoped, looking at Grant and his mum, side by side in his childhood home, that she might be the kind of blessing Grant needed too. 

* * *

They had lunch with his mum twice more after that, and each day, Leo felt the tension in his chest ease a bit more. 

His mum liked his boyfriend. 

She’d caught him on their way out the first day, grinning.

“He’s a good one,” she’d said. “I like him, Leo.”

“Me too,” he’d admitted.

“He makes you happy, though, right? I know, he’s very good looking, and I just -”

“Yeah, Mum. He makes me happy.”

She’d grinned.

“Okay. Good. Come back tomorrow for lunch, okay? I need you to fix a couple things before you jet off again, so bring your tools. And your boyfriend.”

“I’ll bring him. I don’t think he’ll let me go anywhere without him because of this,” he said and gestured to his face. She’d made him sit in her bathroom while she wiped away the makeup and cooed at him. It was nice, but embarrassing. He wasn’t broken, he wasn’t a child, and – it was nice to be cared for, though, he reminded himself when his father’s temper welled inside him. “We’ll be leaving soon.”

She’d smiled sadly and kissed him on the temple, the same place Grant had kissed, nearest the deepest, darkest bruise. 

“I know. But you’ll be back.”

“I will.”

“Good. I only have one child; you have to keep coming back.”

He’d laughed at that, but they both knew field work was dangerous. It was written on  Fitz’s body as they spoke. 

“I love you, Mum.”

“I love you, Leopold.”

She’d let him go, and walked them out, pausing to whisper something in Grant’s ear. Whatever it was, Grant nodded and then laughed conspiratorially before kissing her on the cheek like they’d been friends for years. 

“Be good,” she’d said. “Be safe out there.”

“What was that? The whispering?” Leo had asked.

“That is between me and your mom,” Grant said.

“I know that wasn’t a your mom joke, but like, don’t say it like that.”

Grant had smiled, kissed him, and taken his hand.

“Come now, love. We have a hotel room that is being wasted without us in it, Daisy Johnson nowhere near it. Don’t you agree?”

* * *

It was hard to leave Edinburgh, the Zephyr lifting into the air gracefully, May at the wheel, ready to point them on their next mission. Fitz tried to distract himself in the lab, working on a smaller tracker, a better comm, bouncing from design to design for hours until the rest of the team had turned in for the night. After discarding another half-finished sketch, he reached for his phone and his headphones. 

Just as Grant Ward stepped into the lab with him.

“Hey babe,” he said, falling into a chair nearby. “You okay?”

“Not really. I already miss my mum.”

He nodded his understanding, and just sat with Fitz. His presence was calming, which Fitz knew but was never expecting the way his entire body relaxed around him. He let Fitz work for once, not saying anything, not touching anything, not touching  _ him _ which was a change of pace. Normally, Grant came into the lab to bother Fitz, to touch him when he was trying to focus, especially in the middle of the night when Fitz was trying to work himself to sleep. He would come and pull Fitz’s shirt out of his pants and run his hands up under the fabric, palms firm against Fitz’s stomach and chest, his breath hot on his neck, body a firm line behind him.

“Fitz,” Grant said, and his voice was gentle. “You okay?”

“I can’t focus. It’s hard leaving every time. But we have to go back to our job, doing missions, almost dying.”

“You almost died in Edinburgh,” Grant said.

“Well, I didn’t, but it’s different. It feels different. You and I, we felt different there on the ground.”

“It was all the sex.”

Fitz smiled, picking up his discarded communicator and then setting it back down. 

“I don’t know what it was, but leaving feels worse this time. I can’t focus, but I also can’t just do nothing.”

“You could certainly do me instead if that will help,” Grant  offered .

“I’ll consider that.”

“Can you build some soundproofing for the bunk?”

Fitz snorted.

“As if there isn’t soundproofing for the bunk already. As if I didn’t install soundproofing panels the first time you sucked me off while everyone was down the hall. I actually installed soundproofing in everyone’s bunks when I perfected it. It’s one way, so we can hear everything going on outside of the bunks, but no one can hear what’s going on inside.”

“How did you test it?”

“Remember when I had you jerk off last year, told you to be as loud as you wanted, as loud as you needed, to tell me exactly what you fantasized about?”

“Yes,” Grant said.

“And then I left.”

“Yeah, that was unfortunate.”

“I was standing outside, and in the conjoining bunks, but I didn’t hear anything. But I stood outside the bunk and talked to you, told you what I wanted to do to you.”

“Oh, fuck, that’s right.”

“Not loud, not shouting, just speaking to you as if we were having a normal conversation. I didn’t even know you could hear me, if I’d gotten the  one-way effect right, but when I stepped back into the room, you begged me to do to you exactly what I’d laid out.”

“You’re a mad genius,” he said.

“I know.”

“What’s the next improvement for the bunk, then?”

“I don’t know. What do you want in our bunk?”

Grant grinned.

“Heated floors, maybe. Or mine to be connected to yours. Double the room.”

“I could probably manage heated floors, but considering your bunk is on the other side of the hall, unlikely.”

“Hmmm, unfair.”

“Well, bring that up with Coulson if you don’t like the seating arrangements, sir.”

“I’ll think of something for the bunk,” Grant said. “I just wanted to watch you work, honestly, doesn’t even matter what. You could put together a jigsaw puzzle and I’d love every minute watching your fingers work.”

“Ahh,” Fitz said, leaning towards him, holding out a screwdriver to point at him. “It comes back to my fingers every time.”

“It’s not my fault that they’re distracting.”

He wiggled a pinky finger at Grant.

“Go back to working,” Grant said, gently, standing and moving towards the sound system in the corner. He fiddled with it for a few moments before soft piano and a gentle voice came through the overhead speakers. “I’m just going to be here. Keeping my hands to myself. Not saying anything.”

“I’ll believe you keeping your hands to yourself when I see it.”

Grant slid back into his chair and rested his head in his hands, using his own body to keep his hands still.

“Are you trying to make my literal dreams come true right now?”

“I’m an excellent boyfriend,” Grant said with a shrug. Then motioned for Fitz to continue. 

Fitz sighed, and picked up the tracker, turning it over in his hands. He needed it to be smaller, more discreet, maybe undetectable if he could manage that while still being trackable by them. Maybe he could make it small enough to attach to a zipper or a tie clip, maybe an earring if he could shape it correctly. He might even be able to make it communicate with the comms and with the team, have it send a signal when they were separated by enough distance. 

The song overhead tickled his ear and he couldn’t help himself, couldn’t stop his hips from moving to the beat, his lips mouthing along. Some songs just did that to him, dug their way into him until they were coming back out. He couldn’t help himself from singing along to them, letting them live and breathe inside of him, bursting out anew. 

“What would I do without your smart mouth, drawing me in, and you kicking me out? Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down. What’s going on in that beautiful mind? I’m on your magical, mystery ride,” he sang, glancing at Grant.

In a way that Leo had never seen, Grant’s face was completely unguarded, open and loving, eyes soft and his jaw relaxed. There wasn’t even a hint of worry in his face for the first time since they’d met. He was always tense, always waiting, always on the edge of  _ something _ . It was intoxicating to see him at peace for once in his life after he had suffered through so much.

“Keep going,” Grant said, smiling.

What Leo wouldn’t do for that smile, for the soft expression?

He kept singing, John Legend’s song coming easily, a song about loving all of his partner with every part of himself. It was easy to sing, John Legend was good at what he did, but it was also easy to sing  _ to Grant _ . 

“ ’Cause all of me loves all of you, all your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you. You’re my end and my beginning, even when I lose, I’m winning.  ‘Cause I give you all of me and you give me all of you. I give you all, all of me, and you give me all, all of you.”

“Dream come true,” Grant muttered as the song faded out. He stifled a yawn, his eyelids starting to droop. “Fuck, sorry.”

“Go to bed, Grant. I’ll be in soon.”

“No, I’m gonna stay right here.”

“You’re  gonna pass out right here.”

“Worth it,” he answered with another yawn. 

“I can see how tired you are.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to leave this, though. I don’t know when we’re going to get it again. Even if we can be together openly, we’re never alone like this.”

Leo could see that, see the truth, see how fleeting this moment was. Someone would come by, Grant’s walls would go back up, the song would end, and the moment would be over. He reached out and wrapped his hand around Grant’s wrist, tugging to pull his hand away from his face.

“Come here.”

“This is not me keeping my hands to myself.”

“You haven’t touched me yet. This is me not keeping my hands to myself. Now, come here.”

Grant came willing, letting Leo pull him up against him. The kiss was unhurried, Leo lifting his hands to hold Grant’s jaw, stroking his thumbs over his cheekbones. 

“You’re so good,” he said into the kiss. “You’re such a good boy. Get your hands on me right now, Grant Ward.”

“Gladly.”

His hands were on his hips then pushing up under his shirt and palming over his ribs. Grant’s mouth was a steady weight against his own, tongue slipping easily past Leo’s lips like it belonged there. One of them groaned, and the other echoed like a mirror. 

“Fuck,” Leo groaned, placing his hands against  Grant’s chest and pushing him away slowly. “I can’t fuck you in the lab. Simmons  _ will  _ know and I won’t hear the end of it.”

“Then take me to bed, Fitz.”

“One thing, first,” he said, a design suddenly occurring to him. He turned towards his work table, staying in the circle of Grant’s arms and grabbed the closest piece of paper, started sketching wildly, the lines flowing out of him fast and furious. “Hold on. I just have to-”

Grant kissed him on the cheek, nuzzling into his hair. 

“God, I love watching you work,” he muttered. “I’m incredibly lucky to have you, to be able to watch you. You’re so brilliant. I have no idea what you’re doing right now but it’s fascinating to just watch.”

“I do like being flattered,” Leo said. “It doesn’t help the whole working thing, of course, but I’m glad you appreciate everything I do.”

“Those fingers, they’re impossible, you know that? Holding the pencil perfectly, it’s tantalizing. Fucking teasing.” 

“Thinking about what I can do with these fingers besides sketch?”

He was trying so hard to hold on to his thought, to focus on at least finishing the train of thought on paper. Once he got Grant Ward naked and alone, he would not be able to finish it. 

“Always.”

“You’re not behaving,” Leo had to breathe out. “Give me one minute.”

“That’s all you get before I start undressing you,” Grant promised. “Fifty-nine. Fifty-eight.”

He sketched quickly, making shorthand notations in the margins to explain the process. Hopefully, in the morning, he’d be able to pick this back up.

“Thirty-seven,” Grant warned.

Kissing Grant was always an inspiration, but normally, it led to them horizontal and gasping. It didn’t usually lead Fitz to a breakthrough, but muses were fickle and funny things, he supposed. If you believed in that kind of thing.

“Twenty-nine.”

“Almost there.”

He made a final note on powering the device just as Grant whispered, “time’s up, Fitz. Time to show me what those fingers are capable of.”

“Hey,” Fitz said, grabbing onto the front of Grant’s shirt and holding him still. “You’re amazing, and I’m lucky to have you, too.”

Grant beamed, held in place by Fitz’s hand, choosing not to move until he was released.

“Even though we’re leaving Edinburgh, and we’re not at the hotel, it doesn’t matter where we are because we’re here together. I’m glad we were caught, that we don’t have to hide anymore. Being able to kiss you here in this lab, on this plane, surrounded by our family, that’s enough for me. I’d almost die a hundred times over for that.”

“Don’t,” Grant said softly. “It’d wreak me if you died.”

“Well, lucky for me, I’ve got Grant Ward looking out for me. Nothing’s going to get me when he’s around.”

“Not if I can help it.”

“For the rest of my life.”

He didn’t say it like a question.

“Yes. For the rest of our lives.”

“Good. Let’s start tonight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ya bitch just wants Grant Ward to be loved and happy. Also, any excuse to write characters singing. I love Ben Platt and couldn't stop myself from imagining Leo Fitz singing those songs, and here we are. I have no apologies. If there's anything you want me to tag that I missed, let me know, or if you want to talk about Grant Ward deserving better, hit me up on tumblr as kaytikazoo!  
> -K


End file.
